Someone with spare time and their mind in the gutter noticed something about Edmonton Oilers head coaches
The Edmonton Oilers officially have a new voice behind the bench in Mike Babcock, and it's easily one of the most controversial hirings in recent memory.
Only time will tell whether Babcock is the guy who can get this team over the hump after they took a step backward last season, but one thing is certain: He fits the Oilers mold.
It's not because of his style or his demeanor, it's because of his name.
Because someone — someone with a lot of time, and male anatomy on the brain — noticed that the last five Oilers coaches have all had names with some kind of slang term for male genitals in them.
MIKE BABCOCK GOING TO EDMONTON JUST MADE THE OILERS APPOINTMENT VIEWING THIS UPCOMING SEASON
Don't believe me? See for yourself.
Ken Hitchcock, Dave Tippett, Jay Woodcroft, Kris Knoblauch, and now Mike Babcock.
That is a generational run of penis-named head coaches.
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Sure, it's childish, but it's kind of unbelievable to hit five in a row. Two or three would be a funny coincidence, but five? That makes it seem like it's somewhere on the front office's checklist.
Like, it's not a dealbreaker if you don't have a wang name, but if you do, it could put you over the top or fill a gap in your resume.
Even wilder, some common and obvious dong names are not represented. No Johnsons and no Richards.
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That seems almost impossible, but here we are.
So, it seems like Babcock was always destined to be the guy (although you've got to think that using this crotch logic, Peter Laviolette had to be in the running).
Still, you'd think after four straight phallically named coaches in a row and no Cups to show for it, they'd try something else.
Now that they've kept the wiener names streak alive, it's time to get to work on those depth and goaltending issues.
